On Thu, 24 Jul 1997, Melanie Dunstan wrote:
> One of the biggest reasons - and you're not necessarily going to like
> this but I've got enough empirical evidence to convince me - is
> SELFISHNESS. Think about it. Mr and Ms TINK (two incomes, no kids) are
> holidaying - for the third time this year. Winter in the Alps, Christmas
> .....
Melanie, while I recognize some anecdotal truths in the stereotypes you
portray in your story I have to take issue with your characterization of
people who chose not to have children when they have the financial means
as selfish. As someone who has decided that I myself will not have any
children (unless I were to fall in love with a woman who already had them)
I find that this is a common accusation/belief by many who do have
children. First, I would hope that as feminists we can all support every
woman's right to CHOOSE whether or not to have children, and if so how
many. This is the main issue in the economic discussion re birth rates,
unfortunately women in poorer regions, and poorer women in the first world
rarely have the education, access to birth control or abortions, or
personal life options to choose not to have children or to have only one
or two. But for those of us lucky enough to have this choice, please do
not assume you understand why those of us who choose not to have children
do so. We may do so because we have issues from our own childhoods, from
abuse, to alcoholism, to neglect, or we may have chosen life paths that
require flexibility or mobility, doing work abroad or with major
committments outside the home where we live, we may not think we'll be
good parents, we may not be able to have children physically, or just
plain choose not to. To label us as selfish, whatever our reasons,
assumes that we should/must want to have children as some natural drive.
I give generously to many people in my life, but just don't choose to have
children.
(dear list moderator, sorry to continue so off topic)
robin.
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