Here is a report regarding the preferred language for European
communications. I know it is WAY off topic, but I couldn't keep it to
myself. With luck, it will catch on world-wide, making communication
easier and more accessible for all.
======================================================
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement
has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for
European communications, rather than German, which was the other
possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded
that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as
EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".
Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.
Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will
this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year,
when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make
words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan
be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters,
which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is
disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" by z" and "w" by v. During ze fifz year, ze
unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar
changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer
vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
Trust me, I'm a doktr.
Catweasel <pvbuckland@bigfoot.com>
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
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