Re: [*FSFFU*] On Femininity and SF

From: Nalo Hopkinson (bl213@FREENET.TORONTO.ON.CA)
Date: Wed Sep 24 1997 - 06:56:53 PDT


NH: Jesus.

On Tue, 23 Sep 1997, MARINA YERESHENKO wrote:

>
> 2) A girl cannot walk around alone freely since the age of 10, no matter
> how she is dressed. And when some creep comes up to you at the
> street, grabs you by the hand and says something like: "Come with me,
> beauty", God help you if you try to say something back. Not even "F__k
> off". Even if you call him "stupid" or in any other way "be rude", he
> will hit you (you are lucky if once). You are not supposed to be rude to
> a man, and he will consider himself doing you a favor by "teaching you a
> lesson". So next time you would not express disrespect to someone who is
> bigger and stronger (the same as if in America, you'd try to fight with a
> cop. Except that you can sue a cop).
>
> If in this situation, you try to walk away, he will follow you. He would
> not probably hit you if you don't provoke him, but ignoring a man is also
> disrespect. So he (or they, men usually hunt in groups) will follow you
> until they get tired saying all kinds of things they can think of (Hey,
> where are you going so fast, pretty? You sure you don't want me to f. you? I
> would f. you go-o-od! and so on).
>
> It can happen any time you go somewhere alone. Any time you get out of
> your home, to be precise. And that's during peaceful times. If you are
> lucky to get a civil war going in your country, things really go to the
> extreme. Because there is nothing that a 20 year old guy with an AK-47
> feel he's not entitled to. If you are a woman, you have to deal with it
> every day,no matter what you think about it. Most of people just don't
> think about it, taking it as part of being a woman, along with a smaller
> size of meal or menstrual cramps.
>
> Anyway, there is a way to deal with it. It took me about 19 years, but I
> figured it out. First, you should never get mad and never get scared. And
> act as confident as you can. So, when a nut on the street walks up to you
> asking whether you'd go with him, you just have to look him in the eye
> and calmly say "No". I still don't understand why it happens, but it
> always does -- the guy would look away, with an expression like he suddenly
> remembered he forgot his keys in his car, and quietly dissappears.
>
> If he has an AK-47 or simply is wearing that green-and-brown military
> stuff, however, then it's more complicated. You'd have to act very nice,
> and talk to him for a while, ignoring the propositions by acting like you
> are too clueless to understand what he's talking about. If you get to the
> point when he actually asks you whether you are married, you should not
> lie if you don't have a ring, but telling him that you are going to get
> married pretty soon would usually work. But better yet, pay attention
> while going anywhere, and if you see a militiaman, or several of them, 20
> feet around your course, go to the opposite side of the street. If you
> did not manage to avoid it, God help you. You can still survive, if you
> have enough nerve and can lie assertively. Like a friend of mine once
> surrounded by two patrolmen (who were supposed to protect the streets, by
> the way) got away by telling them that her father was the head of the
> city police. The guys knew she was bluffing, but there was no way they
> could know for sure. And if they actually raped the daughter of the
> police chief, they can very well go and kill themselves, because
> otherwise they would very likely have to regret they were ever born. So,
> if you have a bigger man with a gun, or act like you do, you have a chance.
>
> This is just a little bit of "The Rules of Survival for Females in My
> Country" I could write a book about. Sorry for going off-subject again.
> It's just Emrah's posting invoked some sentimental memories.
>
> Marina
>
>
> "Femininity is code for femaleness plus whatever society
> happens to be selling at the time."
> Naomi Wolf
>

"There are two kinds of dates; the kind that you go out with, and the
small fruit that you eat."
                                -my aunt



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