Hi Marina
You wrote:
> Finally, nothing I said was in any way more insulting than the talk about
> "selfishness of childless people" or those "shunting away their little
> ones". No one made a big deal about _that_. Even though with all the
> pressure society puts on working mothers, the last thing they probably
> need are guilt trips from fellow feminists. And I don't remember any of
> them apologizing.
Quite right. Perhaps we could *all* watch our use of emotive language.
> As I already said once, it's always easier to act angry or upset (or
> spiteful -- remember "stupid" discussion of Demi Moore movies) than to
> come up with something better.
Those of us who home educate think we *have* come up with something better.
Or prove, logically, that the opponent is
> wrong, instead of saying that she "does not know what she is
> talking about" (that _is_ an assumption, by the way).
>
> It's true that I don't have kids. However, I do have parents, and I am
> young enough to remember what it feels like to be a subject of parental
> experimentation. What people often forget, is that children are not some
> raw material for implementing some "progressive", "liberal", "feminist",
> or whatever child-raising theories. That they are actually human beings
> and deserve to be asked sometimes whether they are willing to participate
> in their parents' "search for pedagogical truth"
Exactly!. We have asked both of our children (age 7&6) if they would rather
go to school or stay at home. The 7yr old stayed at home. The 6 yr old went
to school. It is all about asking. I realise you remember your childhood
but I doubt you remember what it was like to be left in daycare for the
first time.
or would rather hang out
> with their friends in their trivial, imperfect, drugs-and-firearms-ridden
> (or that's what adults believe) public school. Otherwise, someday,
> they might tell their parents that they have stolen their childhood. And
> believe me, that would hurt them more than anything I can say.
If the child has a totally free choice, as mine do, I can't see how their
childhood could be stolen. Personally I feel school steals much of the joy
of childhood, destroys much creativity and imparts vast quantities of
poisonous propoganda. However, it is not my life and I would not force my
daughter to stay home though I feel she's getting a poor deal being at
school.
> And for God's sake, Stacey, I am not talking about you. I don't even know
you.
> I've seen plenty of other families children who spent their "best years"
> running from a music tutor to a ballet class to some sport place they
> genuinely hated in order to satisfy their parents' vanity. Your case
> might be different, and it is not the point. What I am trying to say
> is that a lot of parents I've met who bent over backwards trying to be
> non-traditional, and considered "making something" of their children the
> central goal of their lives,
I can see your point here. I also know parents who live their lives through
their children. To some extent I think my degree was necessary (!) for my
father who was kicked out of university. It's not necessary to jump from
control to neglect though.
would do the greatest favor to their children
> by just letting them be and getting on with their own lives. I am sure
> there are exceptions. But I am afraid, they just prove the rule.
How so? Perhaps when you're a teenager there would be nothing better than
if your parents just disappeared off the planet for a year or so. I know it
would have improved *my* life. This is not true in the same way for a three
month old baby. Or even for a 7 yr old child. There *are* no rules. Each
family must find their own way. I would doubt any of us are trying to ruin
our children's lives. Personally I am trying to remove all coercion from my
children's lives in the hope that then they'll be free to grow up creative
and free as I was not.
To bring this vaguely on topic, there's an interesting piece about Star
Trek and kids called _The Final Prejudice_ at
http://eve.physics.ox.ac.uk/Personal/deutsch/David.html
Yvonne
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : Thu May 25 2000 - 19:06:52 PDT