At 11:40 AM 7/7/97, Maryelizabeth Hart wrote:
>Speaking of "who is on this list," Janice and Susan commented:
>>offensive in the portrayal of the inter-gender relations. The idea that
>>men and women just can't, literally and unequivocally and universally
>>-can't- understand each other.
>
>Well, I guess they worked for me because I am sometimes baffled by the fact
>that any two entities are able to communicate, let alone two entities fo
>different genders. And living with my husband and son is enough to give me
>many instances of complete conviction that they are indeed wired
>differently and occasionally incomprehensible.
I think there are distinct differences in masculine and feminine styles
of expression, if not of thought, although how in hell we can ever untangle
how much is "inborn" from how much is culturally inculcated I do not know.
Certainly the more you suspend the rules about which sex may use which
styles the more blurring and cross-over you get, but how to tell what that
means? In some cases it's reaction against required norms, in others per-
haps a function of unusual childhood circumstances or body chemistry, or
who knows what else.
It's quite clear, though, that this culture and most others
have a deeply defended investment in keeping men "men" (foreground) and women
"women" (background) for all sorts of political, economic, and social
reasons. So, naturally, the culture works hard to reaffirm and even
exaggerate the differences in male and female expressive styles that keep
people locked
into one side or the other of the gender split. We have a terrible inclina-
tion toward polarities anyway, being bi-pedal etc., and a nearly total in-
ability to view opposing poles as in parity rather than one being superior
to the other. Which is pretty ridiculous objectively -- is your right foot
"better than" your left foot? -- but very useful for allowing one pole to
justify dominating and exploiting the other; which means that if you are born
into the dominant pole, you most likely will do anything to keep from being
identified with the other pole, including tailor your thought and behavior
patterns to read "DOMINANT HERE" whether such patterns are "natural" in you
or not.
It will take a real revolution -- probably a very *long* revolution -- to
get us to where we could seriously and maybe a little bit objectively begin
to sort out biologically reality from cultural artifact, and decide where
to go from there (though we can't seem to stop trying). So maybe for all
intents and purposes as far as we moderns are concerned, Suzette is right:
it ain't going to change soon enough.
How would it all stand if we were actually built on a three-footed model?
Suzy
See why I mostly keep quiet on this list? I open my trap and out comes a
goddamn lecture!
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : Thu May 25 2000 - 19:06:23 PDT