At 22:02 7/9/97 -0400, you wrote:
>In a message dated 97-07-08 22:46:50 EDT, you write:
>
><< I think there are distinct differences in masculine and feminine styles
> of expression, if not of thought, although how in hell we can ever untangle
> how much is "inborn" from how much is culturally inculcated I do not know.
> Certainly the more you suspend the rules about which sex may use which
> styles the more blurring and cross-over you get, but how to tell what that
> means? In some cases it's reaction against required norms, in others per-
> haps a function of unusual childhood circumstances or body chemistry, or
> who knows what else. >>
>
Suzette Haden Elgin has some interesting things to say about men/women
communication in American culture (she carefully does NOT extend this
to 'everyone...'): male communication often gets filtered by the kind
of team sports boys routinely play together; female communication uses
a different filter, more individual-sport oriented, and with a very
different take on many items. (She explained this in an evening's talk
she gave here a few years ago, and I have lost much of the underlying
support data.)
This shows up most clearly in definitions of "right" and "wrong."
A male would more often judge something "right" or at least "OK" if no
one knows it happened -- if the referee doesn't call a penalty, that is.
A woman would more often judge "the same" incident on the basis of an
absolute -- "we don't DO that" or "it was wrong no matter who knows
about it."
I recommend her books on Verbal Self-Defense, as well as on other
topics, and really enjoy her bi-monthly publication, "Linguistics and
Science Fiction." (Available from OCLS, PO Box 1137, Huntsville, AR
72740-1137 for about $10 a year.) She reads widely, speaks wisely (even
though I often disagree with her, I always have to reason out WHY),
and always says fascinating things.
Martha Bartter
Truman State University
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